Relationship Saved! “I had a big aha regarding communication with my husband. Married less than two years, we were already engaging in very unproductive arguments and I was getting pretty nervous about it. I realized through this assessment the role I was playing in this. I thought it was more important to be right than to care about my husbands feelings and ideas. I can see this thinking is out of whack, definitely. I just didn’t realize I was listening to this bad advice. Now I am working on stopping that thought from pushing me to behave like a bull dog and instead thinking “It’s okay and safe if he thinks differently about this. The result is when we do disagree, I feels like problem solving together rather than competition. MUCH EASIER!”

Reduced Stress: “There’s got to be an easier way. I could often hear this thought in my head and I know I expressed it often to others. I felt frustrated. I just couldn’t seem to get everything done and I was sure I was just terrible at managing my time and energy. Now I realize that it isn’t about managing my time and energy and I am not disorganized. I was listening to an advisor insisting that I had to set unrealistic expectations for myself. Now I choose to take a second look at those expectations and cut myself a LOT more slack. The big payoff? I am finally getting a good nights sleep. This has a positive effect on EVERYTHING.”

Letting Go to Create Ease

Life Saving: “I was quickly reaching burnout in my job as a manager in the health care environment. I was working 70 to 80 hours a week thinking that if I didn’t do what needs to be done, who would, ‘how would it happen’. I had to make sure everyone was happy. I thought I had to learn the "how to's and what if's" for every new change myself before bringing in other staff. The cost to my health and personal relationship was showing. I came to recognize through the Six Advisor assessment I had an unrealistic sense of duty. I am not obligated to protect everyone from the constant change of our environment. I am not their Dad. I have been shortchanging the capacity of my staff to take it on. What a relief! I don’t have to do it all myself. I get to manage and not DO everything. Last week I took the whole weekend off. I feel good about that and so do my wife and kids.”

Letting Go of Fear: “If I want it done right, I’m better off doing it myself.” The problem with this attitude for me is that I couldn’t seem to share the workload and boy is that exhausting. I was more focused on how something had to done than on the final product. This advisor was telling me that I was the only one who could do it right. The message I gave to others, then, was that I didn’t trust them. Stepping back now, I realize that I don’t need to control every step of the process if I am clear about what I need and want in the end. Now I am easing my workload and helping others experience success and the same time.”

Perfection is NOT achievable, Excellence however is.

Embracing Rules: "I have always thought respect must be earned before I could trust someone enough to influence me from a position of authority. I always figured my way was the best way. Because of fear, I can now see that I have been resistant for the sake of keeping control. Fear alone is not a healthy motivator. I can now take in more of the full picture and see the benefits of order and structure."

Love Connection: And, another engineer with whom I coach found a way to open up to friends and family that allowed him to find LOVE. He was setting his goals and expectations so high for himself and others that was not able to focus on connecting with the people around him. “When I learned to set realistic expectations I gained the time, energy and focus I needed to make those connections. A wonderful woman soon came into my life and now we are happily engaged.”

Getting Organized: “Who knew? I am not completely disorganized and incompetent. I simply need to stop listening to bad advice that tells me I have to do it all. I can listen to the “enough factor”. I can ask myself is this a situation where enough is enough or is it one in which more than enough is called for. The latter has been my default mode and led me to complete overwhelm. I now see I can be organized and manage my time when I am taking on a reasonable workload (as opposed to trying to do the work of three people). Now I am able to pay more attention to being a leader and managing my staff.”

Choose a Balanced Perspective to Create Ease

Achieving Balance: “Wow! I have been so convinced that I have to take care of everything and everybody all by myself because I just can’t trust them to get it right. It has reduced me to exhaustion and tears. I have been resentful and angry and frustrated. Letting go of guilt, obligation and perfection is not an easy thing to do. However, I notice when I listen to more balanced advice, my life is not only easier, it is a lot more fun. The Six Advisors Assessment and Coaching Program have been highly effective at getting the heart of my most supportive thoughts and most sabotaging thoughts. Once known, I can learn to listen to those thoughts and choose the ones that are right for me. It is through conscious choice that I can have success in whatever I want in life or work. I wanted life to be easier and now I see it happening.”

Open New Doors, New Possibilities